Thoughts by Dad

Some friends of ours just found out that they lost their first child in the early stages of pregnancy.  Although they share an adopted, teenage son, this would have been their first child.  This new pregnancy was an answer to prayer . . . a gift from God . . . an anticipated joy.

As they went to the doctor for that first ultrasound, their greatest fear became a reality . . . there was no heartbeat.  With a flood of emotion and rush of tears, they were able to keep their eyes fixed on the Giver of Life and their hearts resting with the God of Love.  In the midst of chaos they trusted the One who controls the very seconds of our days.

Debi and I have never suffered the loss of a child . . . but our daughter Andrea and Brandon have.  The pregnancy was their first.  I remember the questioning, the wrongly-timed comments, the well-meaning but insensitive remarks, the awkwardness and the sense of hopelessness.  Andrea and Brandon were able to navigate through it . . . often times better than Debi and me . . . and came through with resurrected hope and confidence in their Heavenly Father.  They now share their experience with others.

In talking this morning with my friend . . . and praying for him, God prompted some encouraging thoughts.

1. Loss in this life is not loss in God’s Kingdom.  Jesus reminds us that He is the resurrection and the life.  (John 11:25)  We may suffer the loss of a loved person, loss of possessions, loss of privilege, loss of position, loss of power . . . any of these in this life . . . but nothing can place us in a position of loss in His Kingdom.  He bought us with a price . . . the Father suffered the loss of His Son so that we would never need to face eternal loss.  The people we lose, we will meet again in eternity.  The possessions we lose will be replaced with crowns that we will throw at His feet.  The privileges lost will be replaced with the privilege of worshipping Him.  The position lost will be nothing compared to being in the heavenly courts.  The power we lose . . . it’s not resurrection power.  No Pain . . . No Gain!
2. God’s victorious love fills the void of our loss.  Remember Paul’s comments in Romans 8:35-39, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  As it is written: ‘For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.’  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  His love keeps us locked into His care . . . and nothing can change that!  Victorious Warrior . . . Conquering King . . . Loving Master . . . Risen Savior!  His love on the cross mitigates our loss.
3. When relationships end in this life by death, they just begin in God’s Kingdom.  Jesus told the thief on the cross that on that day, he would be with Him in paradise.  It has often been said that when we close our eyes in death on this earth, we open them in life in His presence.  After the loss of a loved one, a man was praying that the welcoming in heaven by those who had gone before would be wonderful for this most recent citizen of heaven.  It brings great confidence to know that a child lost in pregnancy may be welcomed by great-grandparents or grandparents who have already made the journey to heaven . . . that a loved one will be met by old friends . . . that a parent will be met by a child that they never had a chance to hold in their arms.  Heaven is a wonderful place . . . filled with glory and grace.
4. In God’s Kingdom, good-bye is never really good-bye.  Simply put . . . you will see your loved ones again, because of the resurrected power of Jesus Christ.  All who know Him and have trusted Him alone for salvation share a citizenship in Heaven that is common to all of God’s redeemed children.  It’s never good-bye . . . it’s see you soon.
5. Hopelessness keeps our heart in pain, hope keeps our heart pure.  When our lives are filled with the bitterness of pain, the heartache of separation, and the agony of loss . . . we end up holding on to hopelessness.  It becomes our mantra and our mantle.  When we hope, we begin the cleansing process that makes us more like Christ. (I John 3:3)  It becomes our song of praise and our shawl of purity.

In many ways, we never really see the full impact of what God is doing in our lives.  His work will never full be revealed until we reach heaven.  Mark Roberts writes, “We see the strings under the tapestry, whereas the Father sees it from above–beautiful with all patterns in place for a complete and perfect view.”

Only eternity will reveal the wonderful tapestry that God is weaving through our loss, our pain, our hurts . . . and His Love, His Provision and His Healing.

May God bless you in your loss.